Ponderings on Ephesians...

As I have written about before, this is my first year to read through the Bible. In case you haven't read my previous posts, I am reading the Bible through the Daily Audio Bible. A wonderful servant of God, Brian Hardin, reads a little out of the Old Testament, the New Testament, Psalm, and Proverbs everyday and he makes his podcast available to anyone to download for FREE. Anyway, as this is my first year, this is my first experience with many of the books of the Bible. I love getting to a new book and learning about the history of the book, as well as gaining whatever God has in store for me.

I just recently finished the book of Ephesians. W.O.W. This book is so rich with insight, wisdom, and virtue that I need to go back and read it again. Paul is the author and he truly was divinely inspired because what he had to say makes so much sense, even for now 2000 years later. I'm going to hit a few highlights of what really spoke to me. Before I do that though, let me just write a little disclaimer: Obviously I am no Bible scholar. What I write is what I got from my reading and is therefore my conclusion. :)

To start off Paul writes this in chapter 1, verses 4-6:

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love, he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ in accordance with his pleasure and will - to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

Isn't that amazing?! God chose us before creation! I find that to be so comforting and awe-inspiring...

Next, in chapter 3, verses 16-19:

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being; so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Paul prayed that we may have the power to know how much God loves us. God's love for us is so huge, that it goes beyond all human comprehension. I can not understand it. There are some things that we are not meant to really understand until the given time and this is one of those things. Yes, I know God's love for me is steadfast and faithful and bigger than any love ever imagined, but can I really, truly know what that feels like until I see his radiant son? I don't know... But the fact that he loves me this much is enough for me right now.

Moving on to chapter 4, verses 17-19:

So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.

I know this one seems a little harsh. At least it does to me because I feel it describes many people in this world exactly. The "Gentiles" here is referring to non-believers, or at least that is what I think. Why do I think this passage describes many people today? Because a few years ago, this was me. (And still is from time to time...) I was darkened in my understanding - I had none! I was separated from God because I separated myself. I'm just thankful that my heart was not hardened. Thank you Jesus...

I have more I want to get out, but it will have to wait. I am so so tired and if I continue to write, I will not get it out exactly as I want it. So I will end with this note / comment:

God chose me before he created the world. His love for me surpasses all knowledge. I was in a dark place, separated from God with the impending hardening of my heart, but Jesus saved me. He waited patiently for me to return to him. I am not worthy of his love, but he gives it freely and sincerely. Man, God is awesome.

I heart the Duggars!

So I'll just come out and say it. I love the Duggars! You know, the family with 19 kids... I love them! I want to go on record saying that they appear to me to be such a loving and faithful family. Every time I see the show, I am always impressed at how well behaved and well adjusted the kids seem to be. I love the fact that the whole family puts God first. Their love for the Lord is so evident in how they live their every day lives, and it is also obvious that the Lord has truly blessed this family, not only with children, but with inspiring others around the world.

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
~ Psalm 127:3 from NLT

What I can't understand is all the hate directed towards this family. Obviously having so many kids is not for everyone, but who are we as a society to dictate how many kids one can have? Those 19 kids seem much more "normal" than a heck of a lot of my high school students! There is so much judgement and negativity towards this family and it really isn't right. It is not our place to judge anyone.

Jesus said in Matthew 7:

3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

So I say woohoo for the Duggars! I'm thankful there is a wholesome show to watch that is also fun!

Scripture memory, for real.

So my 5 followers may be wondering why I haven't written since July... Well, the real reason is that I was waiting for that "perfect" blog idea. Most nights I open up my blog and think to myself, nah, that's not a great blog idea. Who would want to read about that. But you know what? I'm tired of waiting for perfect. ha!

Tonight I want to share with everyone just how wonderful God is. He is my rock, my friend, my father, my savior, my wisdom, my love. I look back on the years of my life when I was living without Him and I wonder how on earth I did that. I simply can not imagine my life without talking to, thinking about, talking about, writing about, worshipping, praying to, crying to, holding on to, being with God.

Every year my life seems to get just a bit busier. This year (and just so you know, I think in terms of school years) is the busiest yet! Monday and Tuesday I rush home to get Madi and take her to riding, Wednesday I tutor, I often bartend on Saturday and serve at church on Sunday. Monday through Wednesday I wake up at 5am, leave the house by 7:30am, and don't get home until about 7:30pm. Thursday and Friday I try to not schedule anything afterschool but I really want to start a small group and I think it will be on Thursdays. During the week I try to keep the house clean, but by Friday it's always a mess. So Saturday is heavy cleaning day, and grocery trip day. But that's only if there isn't a horse show to go to which means waking up yet again at 5am to be there by 6:30am. And all of this is only outside of work... During the work day I have my 150+ students to deal with, plus their parents, plus grading papers, plus lesson planning, plus meetings, plus committees (where I seem to be the one to do most of the work), plus mentoring a new teacher (who is awesome!). Sheesh... I think you get the idea. lol! By no means do I think I live the world's busiest life or do I feel sorry for myself. Please don't think that! I just sometimes feel that I have all these balls I'm juggling and it can get a little hairy at times.

My point is this: I've been feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. And for those of you who know me pretty well, I really don't stress that easily. So, a few weeks ago when I was almost to the breaking point, I decided to turn to something that I knew would be able to help me. I turned to God's word.

A few days earlier, I was reading an awesome book called "A Voice in the Wind" by Francine Rivers and the main character was reciting a Psalm. That Psalm stuck with me and in the midst of my stress, I felt lead to memorize the whole thing. Now, I had thought about memorizing scripture before, and had memorized some already, but not something so long. So what I did was write it down on a notecard and basically bring that card with me wherever I went. After a few days I had it memorized and I would say it to myself when I was feeling particularily stressed.

Here's the scripture:

Psalm 23 (NIV)

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For you are with me. You rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You annoint my head with oil. My cup overflows. Surely goodness and love with follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

It's amazing how such a simple solution can do wonders for a complicated life. God's word is so powerful. I feel that memorizing His word brings me closer to my Lord... because I am thinking about Him, and I feel that He is speaking to me.

So the next week, I wanted to memorize another longer piece of scripture. I found one in Galatians that I really liked. Here it is:

Galatians 5:22-26

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with it's passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying eachother.

Whenever I recite this one, I try to reflect on each fruit of the Spirit. I know that the Holy Spirit is in me and that with the Spirit it is possible to "keep in step with the Spirit".

Now it's a new week and I still haven't decided what to memorize, but I know that God will lead me to what I need. Or maybe He is intending for me to write this instead! LOL!

I think what I've learned through this is to really and truly turn over stress and troubles to God. To put it on His shoulders. He wants to be with you! He wants you to rely on Him. In the past, during difficult times, it was normal for me to pull away from God and turn to more destructive type behaviors. But now that is not my desire. I desire God above all else. And I know He desires me.