I am here...

The past 36 hours have been quite an emotional roller coaster for me. Yesterday morning, I found out that I was quite possibly going to be surplussed at my school. There is another high school opening up in the district which means not as many students will be attending my school, therefore not as many teachers are needed. Anyone who is surplussed is still guaranteed a job in the district, so you're probably thinking why is it such a big deal... Well, anyone who knows me knows that where I teach is very special to me and it is my home. So the thought of leaving was not only a shock to the system, but just so very saddening.

After the initial shock, I prayed. I asked God to be with me, to help me get through this, to give me courage and strength to accept whatever His will was with grace and positivity. And I felt ok with things. Oh, I was still sad, but I knew that God would put me where he wanted me.

But then, of course, my mind starts wandering... I think back to almost two years ago when I actually resigned from my job. I, for some reason, thought that I wasn't meant to be a teacher anymore. And after a summer of realizing I had made a HUGE mistake, a miracle happened. The person who was hired to take my spot decided to not take the job! And I was able to step right back in before my resignation actually went through. At that moment, I knew that God was telling me, "Jenna, you still have work to do."

So then I wonder and ask God, why did you keep me at my school only to have me leave two years later? Do you need me to go somewhere else? Again, I prayed for clarity, to be able to see His path for me, to know which direction to go, and of course for Him to be with me, and to help me get through it.

I woke up this morning and I felt a weight on me. Driving into work, I spoke with my work BFF and we agreed to meet up for "coffee-n-copies". We do this weekly, sometimes a few times a week just to chat and chill. Immediately after we hung up, a sadness fell on me knowing that I wouldn't be able to do that anymore if I were to leave. Then my thoughts ran to other things I knew I would be sad about. I was just depressed.

I usually listen to podcasts in the car, but I wasn't up for my LOST podcast. (Anyone who knows LOST, knows that you have to pay attention and I was not in any form to pay attention.) So I put on KLOVE and a song came on... Everything else was very quiet, and all I could do is hear this song. I know with every ounce of my being that it was God talking to me. It was so beautiful.

These are some of the lyrics: (song is by Plumb, called "Beautiful History")

I am here
I’m holding you
You’ll make it through this
I am here
I am here

I started crying, not because I was so sad, but because I felt so blessed knowing that He was there with me, holding me.

When I got to school, I went into the lounge for my coffee-n-copy time and was pulled into the principal's office! No, I was not in trouble. LOL! My department chair and my principal wanted to personally tell me that I was going to be returning next year. I am not going anywhere.

God was right. I made it through this... because He was there for me.

Now it is clear to me that I HAVE SOME WORK TO DO!! It's now two times that He has sent this message to me.

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

Matthew 28:20 NIV

Although I made it through, two other people in the department did not. One of the surplussed teachers is my very good friend whom I will miss so very much. I know we will continue to be good friends, but it just won't be the same at school without her. Te voy a extrañar, Daisy...