It all starts now, part deux.

Around the middle of January 2009 I found the greatest podcast ever. It's called the Daily Audio Bible and it was exactly what I needed. I had never read the bible and I felt so ignorant. I really wanted to know more than the basic bible stories that everyone knows, but more importantly I wanted to know more about God. The DAB (Daily Audio Bible) is a podcast of the bible being read every day for a year and at the end of the year the whole bible will have been read. The reader is a man named Brian Hardin and I just love him. He reads a portion from the old testament, new testament, Psalm, and Proverbs. Since I started in late January of 09 I missed the beginning. I tried to listen to a few podcasts a day but I quickly got way behind and then I would stop listening and come back to it, etc... In short, it just didn't work out for me.

Fast forward to December 09. I'm excited because I have a new year's resolution to start 2010 with the bible and read it along with the DAB podcast every day. Not only am I going to read my bible every day but I'm also going to journal about it! This is huge for me! At that time I was excited but nervous because I have a bad habit of starting something and not finishing it. Today is Feb. 16 and I am proud to say that I have been diligent about my bible podcast and journaling. I have done it every day and I look forward to waking up (at 5am!) and spending time in God's word.

To say that the DAB has changed my life is an understatement. I think about God so many times during the day now. Because I'm in the Word daily, starting my day with it, my world is oriented to serving His Kingdom. I find myself saying a silent prayer when I get frustrated, or down, or happy. Oh, I still get angry and I still say things I shouldn't say, especially when I'm driving, but I feel like I'm on a team. I feel like I'm not alone. I have my rock, my main man, my God!

So this brings me to the main reason I decided to do this blog --> Madison. I've spent many years developing my faith, but I am ashamed to admit that I really have done little to develop hers. She used to go to church with me, but to the kids program. And then when she started middle school she stopped going. She goes to a Christian school and she learns about the bible and memorizes verses, etc, but I'm not sure if she thinks of it as part of her life or just as another class.

This issue has been heavy on my heart for sometime now. I've been praying, asking for guidance in how I should lead my daughter. I've tried to bring praying into the daily routine, but it's been rocky and sporadic. Not to mention, Madison has been really stand-offish with it. I tried to play the DAB for kids podcast in the car, but it's a bit too juvenile for her. I mean, this should be easy right? But, for some reason, it's not...

Then two or three nights ago, God answered my prayer. I had a sudden thought,"What if I start a blog that kind of documents all the things I try with Madison? And then I can look back and see what works and what doesn't work. And even better, maybe, just maybe, I can be of some help to another mom out there struggling with this same issue."

I think my issue with being a spiritual leader in my tiny family highlights a bigger fear of mine...a fear of appearing overly spiritual to others. For so long, I looked down on "religious" people --> bible bangers, as I liked to call them. And now I'm one of them! LOL! But the fear I have comes from a very real fact that there are people, even people very close to me, who will think I'm crazy, or dumb, or blind, or ignorant for believing what I believe. And that scarED me. Notice the "ed" though, past tense. I'm not scared anymore.

It all starts now.

"From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing and forceful men lay hold of it." Matthew 11:12 NIV

"The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear?" Psalm 27:1 NIV